So many questions....

Am I selling out??
Am I compromising my values??
Am I doing what is best for my children??

All of these questions and many, many more have plagued my mind and heart for the last week and a half. You see I had a plan- a good plan- for my children this year.
I was working on curriculum choices, planning our days, thinking about field trips and co-ops.
And I was excited.... I love having my children home with me. I love being a part of their daily learning experiences. I love everything about homeschooling!!
So why all the questions??
At the beginning of the year we found out that we are expecting our third child- what a huge blessing!!
At that time we began thinking about how having a newborn might impact our schooling- especially seeing how challenging school can be for my little guy.
We knew it was doable- we know many families who are homeschooling with many more children than we have and they do it well.
But what was right for us...
We researched our local school district and although it is a really good district we just didn't feel peace about a typical public school.
We researched our local private schools and although there are some great choices, they just weren't financially possible for us at this time.
So what to do??
One option we had not yet thought of was some of the local public alternative schools (magnet schools)- so we looked into that option as well. We actually found one that we really thought might be a good fit. It is a smaller school and the focus is not so much on book learning, but on hands on inquisitive learning.
This might be a great option- although still a public school it was the best alternative to homeschooling that we had found. (Although I was not decided that we shouldn't homeschool as that is where my heart truly lies).
The only problem with this option is the only way to procure enrollment is through a lottery system and there were many, many people in the lottery and only a few spaces available. The chances of our getting into this great school were very, very slim.
So we prayed.... and I truly believed that if we got into this school system that it was only going to be because the Lord had ordained it to be.
And when the lottery drawing was completed at the end of April.... we didn't get in!! I was convinced this was the Lord's direction that we were to continue homeschooling and we would make it work. I wasn't worried as this had been in my heart all along...
So... fast forward about three months... I am working hard on finalizing our homeschooling plans for the year- wanting to be sure that we are prepared to begin schooling earlier than usual so we will be able to take time off around the birth of our little one.
And somehow it just wasn't coming together the way I thought it would.
There were lots of reasons for this, however the main problem for me lied in the fact that I just wasn't feeling peaceful about our plans. I was attributing this to nerves, concerned about how it would all play out for us.
But still.... no peace.
And then last week, completely out of the blue, I get a phone call. It is the headmaster of the magnet school we applied to. It seems they have an opening- one opening- for a third grader (my son).
What a shock!!
They made it very clear on the phone that day that they had the opening for my son but there would be no opening for my daughter. What to do??
These spots are so very rare- and especially so close to the beginning of school. People don't just drop out of this school- they beg to get in.
Knowing that there was no way that my daughter would have a spot as all of the 2nd grade spaces were already filled and confirmed.
Do we take the spot??
Do we keep them both home together??
We were so unsure of what to do, so we prayed again. And I was reminded that I believed that if there was a spot for my children in this school then it must be the Lord's doing. But what about just one spot??
After much deliberation- we decided to accept the spot for our son and continue to homeschool our daughter.
So I called the headmaster back and accepted the spot.
Then I began again to revamp our homeschool to accommodate only one of our little learners. And yet I was still struggling to find peace.
The very next day we got a phone call from the headmaster- she was laughing when I answered the phone and her comment to me was- "You will not believe this, I don't believe this, but we have one space for a 2nd grader that came open just this morning. I am not sure how this happened but I knew the spot should be for your daughter."
WHAT??
Seriously?? There is an opening for both of my children?? Wow!!
Knowing that this opening would not last, I took the spot for her without even consulting my husband. I knew he would be on board with it and I wanted to be sure to secure the spot for her.
And then I called him- and he was thrilled!! We both had some of the same trepidations about sending our kiddos out into the world to be schooled by others, but we also felt comfortable about this situation.
We know that we will have the ability to be very involved in the school and that we would still have a large hand in our children's education.
So we took the leap!!
And when I hung up the phone- I finally had peace.
Well- I had more peace then I have had previously, but the peace did not come without questions. I still have questions.... and I think that I will continue to have questions, but I do know that the Lord has ordained this opportunity for this season of life.
I don't know how long that season will last, but we will continue to pray and be sensitive to all the leading of the Lord.
So.... we are officially no longer a homeschooling family- at least for now...

A new question- What to do with our wonderful homeschooling blog??
Well- that is a good question, but one that actually doesn't have to make me think too hard.
This blog was birthed out of our homeschooling but has never been based solely on homeschooling. We believe that every home should be a place of learning and we plan for ours to continue to be that as well.
We also want to focus a bit more about parenting and other family issues AND I am working on writing a book... another reason that this time of quiet in our home is going to be a blessing.
So... we have lots more in store for this great blog and all of you faithful readers. I might actually have a bit more time to dedicate here- and there are some really fun changes coming soon as well.
We hope you will stay tuned with us as we walk through this next leg of our learning journey and we will share our highs and lows along the way.

So many questions....

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